a boring boring man

there is only one thing in the entire universe that i fear*. unfortunately i'm confronted with this fear everytime i meet someone new. this is what happens:
instantly my heart rate triples and i can feel my pulse in my thumbs. my throat feels parched, and i have no success in unsticking my tongue from the roof of my mouth. My mind whirls furiously and then inconveniently decides to shut off. usually i laugh nervously. sometimes i stutter. often both at the same time (this is not pleasant to witness).
yes, i too have a fear of the horrific question "where are you from?".
the problem is that i want to give a nice short answer, but then i'm leaving so much out. i never know what to say. i cant answer completely, without boring the person who simply wanted the answer in city, state format. i usually mutter the inane response: "i dont really know but most recently...".

this problem also translates into never knowing what to say when asked to list my interests, fav. books, music, movies, etc...there's just too much to say! i usually end up not listing anything, and seeming like a boring boring man who has no fun ever and doesn't like anything.

...so perhaps blogging will keep me from seeming like a boring boring man. because i assure you, although i may sometimes be boring, i'm never bored! (also im not a man).

*this was a lie. i have at least two fears.